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The Introvert - Extrovert Debate


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#1 forebrow

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 10:00 AM

I'm not one for labelling or organising people according to personality, but I do find it interesting how people see and experience themselves.

I notice that a lot of the introversion I come across is a result of underlying problems such as anxiety and shyness, but I feel that anxiety for me has had no real impact on my personality other than the fact that it drives me away from the situations which I feel I would never have went for anyway. I know a lot of people who identify themselves as introverts that work in bars and nightclubs happily, while I after a few months had to quit because of stress. I also know some who would identify as an extrovert with a great desire to communicate and socialise, but are hounded by anxiety to the point where they can't. So my understanding of this would be to say that your personality is more about what you think than what you do.

I have no specific question to ask here, but it would but interesting to hear the community's thoughts on personality traits, how they came about and how they are experienced.

 


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#2 jstewart405

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 10:36 AM

Interesting topic!

 

I'm definitely an introvert, even though I'm very social. Being around and interacting with others takes a lot of energy for me even though I love it. I always need alone time to regain my energy. If I didn't have that, I wouldn't be social at all. :P

 

Anxiety can affect introverts and extroverts alike. I know what you mean about extroverts being so anxious that they cant socialize. I've had friends like that in the past. It was really sad. :(

 

Everyone is different in what they can and can't or won't tolerate. :)

 

I really like the Myers-Briggs type indicator. It's fairly accurate (from what I've experienced) because it's based on crazy amounts of questions. But it can vary depending on your mood and mindset when you take the test. :P


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#3 IryshWhiskey

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 10:46 AM

I spent an hour trying to find this perfect saying that completely encapsulates me as an introvert, but I can't find it. :(


Essentially, I am a very outspoken and bubbly person, once I know you. But at first I am shy, and because I do not know how to appropriately react in some situations, I may even come off as rude. I am actually a very kind and sweet person, but I don't start conversations and I am terrible at small talk. I also have very high anxiety that I overcome by knowing a lot of my fears are just in my head. I have a great time at parties and love to go out and be with groups of people. I am totally comfortable in a crowd but terrible in a one-on-one convo with a stranger unless they are a geek like me because I have a hard time relating to anyone else. I sometimes have a hard time getting close to people at all because my anxiety has me believing that no one cares or wants to hear about me, so I never share. I am often even too afraid to ask about people because, again, my anxiety makes me think they would rather not be talking to me at all.

 

Ultimately though, I power though it -- Knowing full-well that it's in my head. But it's exhausting. :P

 

Of course that is based on real life, online I am pretty much the opposite because I feel most comfortable and confident in this setting. I love my online community, video games, streaming, music, Google - it's all here. 


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#4 IryshWhiskey

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 10:47 AM

I'm definitely an introvert, even though I'm very social. Being around and interacting with others takes a lot of energy for me even though I love it. I always need alone time to regain my energy. If I didn't have that, I wouldn't be social at all. :P

 

This. ^


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#5 forebrow

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 11:39 AM

Yes I've taken that Myers Briggs test and came up as an INTP, was suprised how in depth the explanations were. Obviously you do end up reading into it what you want to see and not every one under this arrangement is going to be neurological twins, but I found it interesting the point it made about my personality type fitting in well with a variety of extroverted personalities. I'm not exactly surrounded with friends anymore, but I have realised that the large majority of friends past and present have been exceptionally social. I'm not one to approach people often so I guess it makes sense that my friends are the kind of people to skip their way up to you and start the conversation.


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#6 simonparnell

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 12:21 PM

I came up

ESTP


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#7 ananda11

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 01:00 PM

Dr. Crowtron can confirm or deny this. I think that introvert vs extrovert has more to do with where a person looks for acceptance. An Introvert takes their own opinions of self, whereas the extrovert looks to other people for validation.


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#8 Macflea

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 01:04 PM

I've done an extensive week on Myers-Briggs before and I'm an INFP. I found it really helpful for realising why my family act in the way they do.. Why my parents would get annoyed at certain things with my sister and I!!

 

 

 



I notice that a lot of the introversion I come across is a result of underlying problems such as anxiety and shyness, but I feel that anxiety for me has had no real impact on my personality other than the fact that it drives me away from the situations which I feel I would never have went for anyway. I know a lot of people who identify themselves as introverts that work in bars and nightclubs happily, while I after a few months had to quit because of stress. I also know some who would identify as an extrovert with a great desire to communicate and socialise, but are hounded by anxiety to the point where they can't. So my understanding of this would be to say that your personality is more about what you think than what you do.

 

 

See I would disagree that your personality can change. I think you can learn and unlearn some traits, such as organisation.. but being an introvert and an extrovert is more about how you process things and how your brain functions. It's not just "I love socialising and I'm the life and soul of a party so I must be an extrovert" or "I really love watching tele and reading in my room, I must be an introvert" It's judged on how you recharge, what gives you energy.. For example, I LOVE hanging out with people, I can be the life and soul of a party, I can be completely crazy.. but I am an introvert. This is because when I am tired and need to recharge I do that best by being on my own, resting, reading.. going away somewhere quiet. An extrovert could really love being in his room all day playing guitar but then he recharges by seeing people, hanging out, going on holiday somewhere really busy!

 

Yes, life factors can affect how you react to certain things, but deep down I think you are always one or the other, it doesn't change.


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#9 Rootbrew

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 01:38 PM

Dr. Crowtron can confirm or deny this. I think that introvert vs extrovert has more to do with where a person looks for acceptance. An Introvert takes their own opinions of self, whereas the extrovert looks to other people for validation.

 

Per his definition I'm definitely a introvert. I go out of my way to avoid any sort of judgement from others. I'm pretty antisocial but like to be. I don't really enjoy being physically around people and do better when I'm alone. And my wife is the introverted social person as she wrote earlier in the posts. Alas.


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#10 Rayvolution

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 02:06 PM

I'm a goal oriented semi-social introvert (yaay for a new made up term!)

 

I don't look for validation from others for my personal beliefs and I really don't care if people think I'm right or wrong. Although I love getting opinions on things (Like my texture pack) because I want constructive feedback to improve my abilities. But that could be in part that I'm probably borderline narcissistic. I really only care about improving myself, but I don't care what *you* think about the outcome, that's my business. I also really don't socialize for the sake of socializing or really care if you think I'm wrong. But, I do always strive to improve myself and my abilities so I enjoy getting critical constructive feedback.

 

To me socializing for socializing's sake is a total waste of time. But, I won't deny it completely, I just avoid it because I simply just don't care at all. So, while I'll go out to eat with my friends or see a movie typically I'd rather be at home working on my texture pack, playing minecraft, studying, or doing something I feel benefits me directly with some sort of end-purpose or outcome. Doing things like "hanging out with friends in the backyard with a beer" is completely pointless (and simply boring) so I have no interest in doing it what so ever. Now, if me and my friends are working together to a common goal of some kind? Totally on board.

 

Socializing just isn't a priority to me, I have no real social anxiety of any kind anymore, I can typically talk to just about anyone and from my perspective I seem to be a friendly kinda guy as far as I can tell.  I just don't go out of my way to socialize. You will never see me in a bar, a club, or just wandering aimlessly around. Basically, whatever I'm doing needs purpose. It doesn't even have to be purpose specifically for me, but it needs purpose else it's pointless. ;)

 

Well, once the dementia sets in I might do some more aimless wandering. :D

 

EDIT: I also took that personality test you mentioned about a year or 2 back just for fun, I came out a strong INFJ (apparently the rarest type, less than 1% of the total population.)


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#11 forebrow

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 02:16 PM

Dr. Crowtron can confirm or deny this. I think that introvert vs extrovert has more to do with where a person looks for acceptance. An Introvert takes their own opinions of self, whereas the extrovert looks to other people for validation.

 

Per his definition I'm definitely a introvert. I go out of my way to avoid any sort of judgement from others. I'm pretty antisocial but like to be. I don't really enjoy being physically around people and do better when I'm alone. And my wife is the introverted social person as she wrote earlier in the posts. Alas.


See I think I'd agree most with this definition, rather than it being based solely on how you recharge. I do agree that how you recharge is an important factor, but I think this idea of where you find acceptance and validation defines the personality moreso. But again, I think you can never seal the lid on someone in terms of personality with so many valid definitions flying around. 

Thinking about what Macflea said, I question what my Myers Briggs test result would have been 5-6 years ago when I was in an environment like school. I may have had the same personality in terms of how I recharge, but I think when it comes to what I enjoyed and where I found acceptance the result would of been very different. 


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#12 jstewart405

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 03:46 PM

I'm a goal oriented semi-social introvert (yaay for a new made up term!)

 

I don't look for validation from others for my personal beliefs and I really don't care if people think I'm right or wrong. Although I love getting opinions on things (Like my texture pack) because I want constructive feedback to improve my abilities. But that could be in part that I'm probably borderline narcissistic. I really only care about improving myself, but I don't care what *you* think about the outcome, that's my business. I also really don't socialize for the sake of socializing or really care if you think I'm wrong. But, I do always strive to improve myself and my abilities so I enjoy getting critical constructive feedback.

 

To me socializing for socializing's sake is a total waste of time. But, I won't deny it completely, I just avoid it because I simply just don't care at all. So, while I'll go out to eat with my friends or see a movie typically I'd rather be at home working on my texture pack, playing minecraft, studying, or doing something I feel benefits me directly with some sort of end-purpose or outcome. Doing things like "hanging out with friends in the backyard with a beer" is completely pointless (and simply boring) so I have no interest in doing it what so ever. Now, if me and my friends are working together to a common goal of some kind? Totally on board.

 

Socializing just isn't a priority to me, I have no real social anxiety of any kind anymore, I can typically talk to just about anyone and from my perspective I seem to be a friendly kinda guy as far as I can tell.  I just don't go out of my way to socialize. You will never see me in a bar, a club, or just wandering aimlessly around. Basically, whatever I'm doing needs purpose. It doesn't even have to be purpose specifically for me, but it needs purpose else it's pointless. ;)

 

Well, once the dementia sets in I might do some more aimless wandering. :D

 

EDIT: I also took that personality test you mentioned about a year or 2 back just for fun, I came out a strong INFJ (apparently the rarest type, less than 1% of the total population.)

 

Seriously Ray?? I'm an INFJ also!! I've never met another INFJ. Because....you know...we ARE the title. :P

 

Supposedly, we are the ones who can supposedly communicate with otherworldly beings. LOL woot! Let's be ghost hunters! :P

 

Now...why can't I get those darn ghasts to listen to me?!


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#13 Macflea

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 03:49 PM

I actually came up as an INFJ too, but I know myself better than a test does so I am an INFP, but borderline J.
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#14 IryshWhiskey

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 05:30 PM

..... I hate to be a 4th wheel here, but I have been an INFJ since I took the test as a teen, and upon re-taking it just now, I still am. ;P I guess that's why we are all here.


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#15 IryshWhiskey

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 05:34 PM

Supposedly, we are the ones who can supposedly communicate with otherworldly beings. LOL woot! Let's be ghost hunters! :P

 

I actually have a few ghost stories because I swear I have been followed around by ghosts my whole life. I'm not a ghost hunter by any means, but because I believe so deeply in their existence I won't watch horror movies. As a kid I never slept with the lights off because I just knew those ghosts I thought were around me would go all Poltergeist or The Shining on my ars. 

 

... I still cover my ankles when I sleep because of the Achilles tendon scene in Pet Cemetery.... 


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#16 AvalonXai

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 08:13 PM

This is so much fun!! After reading this thread, I had to go take the test (or, what form of the test I could find for free online)! I ended up being an INTP - woot woot for armchair detective!! ;)

 

catbubble.jpg


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#17 jstewart405

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 08:23 PM

This is so much fun!! After reading this thread, I had to go take the test (or, what form of the test I could find for free online)! I ended up being an INTP - woot woot for armchair detective!! ;)

 

catbubble.jpg

 

KITTY!!! <3 <3 <3

 

I love cats. I love every kind of cat. I just wanna hug all them but I can't. :P  Schmoyoho ftw :)


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#18 Rayvolution

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 08:55 PM

I'm a goal oriented semi-social introvert (yaay for a new made up term!)

 

I don't look for validation from others for my personal beliefs and I really don't care if people think I'm right or wrong. Although I love getting opinions on things (Like my texture pack) because I want constructive feedback to improve my abilities. But that could be in part that I'm probably borderline narcissistic. I really only care about improving myself, but I don't care what *you* think about the outcome, that's my business. I also really don't socialize for the sake of socializing or really care if you think I'm wrong. But, I do always strive to improve myself and my abilities so I enjoy getting critical constructive feedback.

 

To me socializing for socializing's sake is a total waste of time. But, I won't deny it completely, I just avoid it because I simply just don't care at all. So, while I'll go out to eat with my friends or see a movie typically I'd rather be at home working on my texture pack, playing minecraft, studying, or doing something I feel benefits me directly with some sort of end-purpose or outcome. Doing things like "hanging out with friends in the backyard with a beer" is completely pointless (and simply boring) so I have no interest in doing it what so ever. Now, if me and my friends are working together to a common goal of some kind? Totally on board.

 

Socializing just isn't a priority to me, I have no real social anxiety of any kind anymore, I can typically talk to just about anyone and from my perspective I seem to be a friendly kinda guy as far as I can tell.  I just don't go out of my way to socialize. You will never see me in a bar, a club, or just wandering aimlessly around. Basically, whatever I'm doing needs purpose. It doesn't even have to be purpose specifically for me, but it needs purpose else it's pointless. ;)

 

Well, once the dementia sets in I might do some more aimless wandering. :D

 

EDIT: I also took that personality test you mentioned about a year or 2 back just for fun, I came out a strong INFJ (apparently the rarest type, less than 1% of the total population.)

 

Seriously Ray?? I'm an INFJ also!! I've never met another INFJ. Because....you know...we ARE the title. :P

 

Supposedly, we are the ones who can supposedly communicate with otherworldly beings. LOL woot! Let's be ghost hunters! :P

 

Now...why can't I get those darn ghasts to listen to me?!

 

Well, if these personality tests have any actual backing (and to be honest, it's all pseudoscience) I would guess a lot of Sg'ers are INFJs (or INs in general) by nature, because most of us are highly intellectual outside the box thinkers who are willingly isolate ourselves from large social groups because we simply don't need them.


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#19 renic_ixillon

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Posted 24 July 2013 - 10:28 PM

I am kind, shy and sensitive.  I love everyone and want to give them all a big hug!  I stay up nights concerned about what others think of me or that I might not measure up what everyone expects me to be.  I need constant validation or a curl up in a ball and sob for days!  I am a fluffy cuddle bunny!!!

 

Just STAY OFF MY LAWN!!!   Now beat it!  You are all boring me already! . . I mean . . Hugs and kisses!!!


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#20 forebrow

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Posted 25 July 2013 - 04:53 AM

This is so much fun!! After reading this thread, I had to go take the test (or, what form of the test I could find for free online)! I ended up being an INTP - woot woot for armchair detective!! ;)

 

catbubble.jpg


Do you know what your percentage for P was? I've taken the test a few times over the last few years and everything stays the same apart from my ideas on perception, it seems I vere more towards judgement when I'm either in a bad mood or under stress.


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