When Silas met the three-headed giant, he was perturbed by its immense feet. But then he saw the plush upholstery on the giant's ear, and realized that yogurt isn't the solution to his severe obesity.
"I slammed my door shut when Putin knocked, but he brought tanks and shiny horses. Remembering my training, I drank tea and opened the large cat flap to let in the starving orphans. But alas! My colon isn't what the manual said it would be! By now, Putin was overtaking Santa Claus in his faster boomchuckerchucker but he had a dozen flywheel batteries. It would be over soon," the agent chuckled aloud.
Perturbed programmable portapotties were angered by tense tinkering tulips.
"Those bastards!" he shouted angrily. The giant, now furious, began lumbering toward Silas. However, as Silas began pacing backwards, the trap closed upon his foot! And then.....Julia suddenly appeared! Julia Child, smoking a slim, questionable object -- that smelled of year-old unwashed gym socks -- began to cast an inter-dimensional vanishing spell.
How things became poutine, we will